What is NOT Consent!

Consent is very important for a healthy dance community

The Importance of Clear Communication

In discussions about consent, clarity is essential. Consent is not just a single event; it must be an ongoing process. This means that communication should be open and direct. A clear and enthusiastic "yes" is what we should seek.

Consider this: just because someone doesn’t say “no,” this does not mean they are granting permission. They could be feeling uncomfortable or unsure. This highlights the need for continuous dialogue around consent.

Common Misconceptions About Consent

Silence or Lack of Resistance

• Just because someone doesn’t say “no” doesn't mean they’re saying “yes.” They might be uncomfortable, unsure, or frozen.

Assumptions Based on Past Behavior

• Just because someone danced closely with you before doesn’t mean they always want to. Consent must be reconfirmed every time. What was acceptable in the past may not be now.

  
  

Flirting or Dressing a Certain Way

• What someone wears, how they dance, or if they smile at you doesn’t imply consent. Never assume someone is “inviting” anything beyond what they’ve clearly agreed to.

  
  

Being in a Relationship or Friendship

• Even if you’re close friends or dating, you still need ongoing consent. Familiarity does not equal permission. This is a crucial point for anyone in a relationship to understand.

  
  

Consent Given Under Pressure or Influence

• If someone says yes because they feel pressured, scared, intoxicated, or manipulated—that’s not real consent. True consent must be freely given. It is vital to create an environment where everyone feels safe and respected.

  
  

"They Didn’t Say No" or “They Didn’t Push Me Away”

• Passive body language, avoiding eye contact, freezing, or discomfort are all signs something’s off. Consent is active and enthusiastic, not passive or hesitant. Recognizing these signs is vital in fostering mutual respect.

  
  

Recognizing Clear Consent

Why Consent is Active

Consent should not be a game or unspoken agreement. It must be an open dialogue where both parties express their desires openly and without fear of judgment. Ungranted assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and, worse, violations.

It’s Not Just About Saying Yes

Many people think that as long as consent is given at some point, it’s a free pass for all future interactions. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Every situation is different. An individual’s feelings and circumstances can change over time.

• Continuous dialogue is the foundation of understanding and respect.

• Each interaction requires its own distinct consent.

  
  

Creating a Culture of Consent

It is important to create environments where consent is prioritized. Education plays a big role in this. Here are steps to consider:

• Discuss Consent: Make conversations about consent a regular part of relationships and interactions. Educate friends and family about its importance.

  
  

• Model Behavior: Instead of simply stating consent, demonstrate what consent looks like. Show how to ask for and give clear, enthusiastic "yes" responses.

  
  

• Encourage Openness: Foster a safe space for discussions. Ensure people feel comfortable expressing their needs and boundaries without any fear of reprisal.

  
  

Conclusion: Clarity is Key

The simple rule remains: If it’s not a clear “yes,” it’s a no. This encapsulates the essence of consent. Challenging societal norms surrounding consent will take time and effort, but it's essential for any respectful relationship.

Understanding consent in its full scope allows us to foster healthier dynamics in our personal and social lives. The more we educate ourselves and others, the more we can encourage a culture where respect and mutual understanding prevail.

Remember, consent is an ongoing conversation that needs to be nurtured to create a respectful and safe environment for all. Let’s continue to strive for clarity and compassion in all our interactions.

Resources for Further Reading

If you're looking to understand more about consent, consider exploring additional resources that offer guidance and knowledge. Engage with organizations that specialize in relationship education and consent awareness.

The importance of consent can't be overstated. It’s a fundamental aspect of any relationship, whether platonic, romantic, or professional. Let’s commit to making this a priority in our interactions.

---

About the Author:

Arun Pauer is a scientist turned dancer with nearly 16 years of teaching experience in Salsa, Bachata, and Kizomba. Having taught and performed in over 25 countries, he is actively shaping the social dance scene in Graz and Chennai. Whether you're new to dancing or a seasoned social dancer, there’s always something to discover.

💃 Join the movement! Explore classes, socials, and events:

🔗 salsamadras.com (Chennai); www.salsamadras.at (Graz)